Congratulations on your purchase of a BrainWorks™ Zombie work contract!
To get you started, we're going to look at how zombies function. Zombie brains are somewhat limited compared to what you and I posses (subjective, dependent on customer). Being dead, they can't handle complex thought. As we learned from Shaun of the Dead though, Zombies are great for performing menial tasks. Let's examine what passes for zombie intelligence:
Zombie Logic While Serving
- A zombie will always take the fastest path from the nearest food to the target customer
- A zombie will always take the most direct path from the customer to the nearest trash/sink
- A zombie will always serve a new customer before clearing a plate
- Zombies work in a cue with the next available (not busy) zombie selected from the pool based on two factors:
- The zombie with the highest tip rating will always serve the next plate
- The zombie with the lowest tip rating will always clear the next plate, unless a customer needs to be served
- All things being equal, the zombie who has been in line the longest will act next
- A zombie will never interrupt a task once it has been started. This includes eating your brains.
- A daydreaming zombie will exit the task and priority cue.
- A customer will always go to the nearest open table.
- A customer will tip depending on zombie tip rating / time it takes for service to the table. The exact math is unknown.
- For those reading between the lines, this means the tables closest to the food often tip best. Design accordingly.
- ATM, game, and vending machine revenue are based on total sales volume. A restaurant cannot survive on ATMs alone.
Zombie attack/defense logic
- The zombie with the highest attack rating will always move towards the target with the highest available defense rating.
- The zombie that gets the "kill shot" will eat the corpse (not the zombie that did the most damage).
All zombies from our agency are trained to re-attach limbs and are self-maintaining under normal working conditions. A dead zombie will revive after two hours.
Thank you for your purchase and have a nice afterlife.
Warning: A hungry zombie will start eating people. We are not responsible for hungry zombies, only defective ones! The Geneva Convention may not apply to the undead but it's still considered poor taste (pun not intended) starve a pseudo-sentient being who works in a restaurant.
We recommend BrainWorks™ brand Zombie Toxin for keeping zombies in the best fighting working condition.